The Good Ol'Days....we like to think so, anyway...

Memories are such a funny thing…they evoke emotion, and sometimes are so crisp you can close your eyes and convince your other senses to play along. The broken parts of things that I remember are so random…what sandwich I had in Spain as a small girl, sitting in a café and peering out a window that overlooked a plaza or courtyard…one which I’m sure I should know. I remember a flock of tiny lambs hop, hop, hopping over some rocks, following me. I was 5, at most. I saw the changing of the Guard, but that’s more faint in my memory than some dreams I had around the same time. The lambs however, are very real…like it was yesterday. As was the snail…my pet snail in Spain who followed me on a long walk. My mother wouldn’t allow it to ride home on the plane. That’s about all I remember from the 2 week excursion with Mom and Betty. Awful, isn’t it? The snail and lambs could have happened on the cape….and saved a few grand.


Can anyone explain that phenomenon? I find it bazaar. My mother tells me all these things we did and I can’t recall so much at all and yet I remember minor, insignificant things…


So, this leads me to wonder what my kids will remember. Will the memories be deep, strong and lively? Or will they remember when I snapped at them in the car for interrupting, rather than that I attended every practice and game, and helped the coaches determine the final schedule from the overall one? Will they have more shared memories or will the facts be mired in fluff and frosting that even the things they do together as a family all feel so different to each of them?


I think sometimes the silly stuff I try to “make” matter, just won’t. And the stuff that is-what-it-is, is what sticks with them….The time Mom burned the roast or left the spaghetti sauce on the stove for 24 hours on low heat. Or the time the washer blew up and left putrid water all over the floor. And the day Joe fell off the railings of the gazebo and hurt his ribs, then fell into an old-school, in-ground garbage container when someone popped the lid open just as he ran across it and nearly broke his leg. Within a few more hours, his hand was closed in Dad’s car door of the caddy. He escaped very serious injury each time, that he had no business escaping. Now, will he recall the fact that clearly he needed to be better supervised, (well, no kidding) or will he remember the humility of needing help again…or will he remember the warmth, affection and feel-better hugs from Mom or Daddy? Or will he just remember that he was “accident prone”…which prompts Mom to constantly remind him that he needs to think-first!!

Once Upon A Time - on the Cape.....from Judy.

Lynn and her kids, Linda, Matt, Laura and Cody and I did one of annual 'family days' during the summer. Always an exciting event - we choose a day during my vacation week and are determined to spend it together no matter what we do.

So this particular year - we opt for the go karts, paddle boats etc on Rte 28 in Wareham, to be followed by an afternoon at Scusset Beach. We arrive and start making the rounds of the various activities. Judy and Matt drag racing in Go-Karts, Maddie and Cody trying to reach the pedals with Maddie's car going about twice the speed of Cody's (much to his chagrin, but to Maddie's delight!). All the while I am frantically snapping photos, trying to capture every precious second for posterity and our ever growing family photo collection.

Next we move to the paddle boats - which, unlike any others I have been on - have squirt guns attached to the steering wheels, so not only do you try to crash into each other - but you spray the opponent in the face with a squirt gun as you approach. Is there ANYTHING more fun that??? So....at one point, Lynn is standing on the dock and the rest of us (Me, Cody, Matt, Kath, Bryan and I think Joe) are paddling and squirting away - and I notice Lynn madly clicking away on her camera, much like I had been, to capture the wet hair, screaming faces, and hysterical laughter of all of us. After a few moments, I notice she is sort of motioning me over to one particular side of the pond. Thinking she is trying to help mw with some sneak attack on my prey (MATT!), I pedal my way over...she keeps motioning "a little more, a little more" and finally she stops, grins and begins snapping the camera again in rapid fire. Wow - can't wait to see those shots, I'm thinkin.

Once we get off the paddle boats, I ask to see the pictures and she bursts into laughter - to show me that she was NOT as eager to snap MY photo, as I had thought, but the really HUNKY deck hand who was in control of the ride!!! We now have numerous shots of me, barely in the picture and numerous shots of the tanned, VERY YOUNG, extremely well built, oblivious summer help!

Some things NEVER change! One of the best days EVER I might add! Next installment - the quandary of how to keep Judy in the shade at Scusset!

Easter fun...

Kathryn rose this morning before the Easter Bunny had made it back to...(wait, where the heck does the Easter Bunny live?)...due to her rising excitement over giving the other kids their gift baskets. A few weeks ago, she began asking for chores she could do that would be in addition to the normal stuff in hopes of earning some money. She made the most adorable little baskets for everyone in the house...a little nurturer-at-heart, who shows her affection not by giving gifts, but by thinking of you, planning, and getting excited to catch you off guard, and make you feel loved. She shops on her own, and has the most creative little ideas and an eye for it. I'm not sure I can compare it to Jesus turning water into wine, but she does make a little Dove chocolate egg into an overwhelming expression of love...

As I type this, Joe sneezes and only half gets his elbow over his mouth/nose....she's too close to him, playing XBox360 together...and she's yelling at him to "Cover!!! What was THAT?? You didn't even TRY to cover?!!!" and he's explaining it was a sneak-attack sneeze..."I was trying to, KATH!". I guess the miracle of no fighting hasn't fallen over our house yet! And what is this mid-40's and windy garbage???

Baseball Season......yet again!!

Bryan is on the Cardinals (LL Majors) and Joe on the Defenders (LL AA)...we're just breaking the ice with practices - each of the boys has had 4 or so, but they are getting back in the "swing" (har har har).

Glad to be getting back outdoors! Finally! They are warming up nicely. Can't wait to get some pics!

~L

Once Upon A Time - at Papa John's in Oak Bluffs

Once Upon A Time... I (Lynn) performed a full wardrobe change (pants and all) in the booth at Papa John's in Oak Bluffs on Martha's Vineyard...Papa's was PACKED. Dad (Jim) was just rolling his eyes and wondering where this kid came from?! I had totally forgotten this experience until Laura mentioned it the other day. (Needless to say there is no photo to go with this post...)

Once Upon A Time........

The "Once Upon A Time" stories are kicking off on this blog...Here's the deal. Any story, the crazier the better, should be posted here with the cut-to-the-chase punchline. Give enough of a summary so it works, and LAUNCH. Feel free to send them to me if you like, to get them posted. I will credit them or not as you wish...Gimme your favorites, Baby! Muckerheide, Palmatier and Spencer ones are most sought after....bring it.

Last Weekend....(cont'd from "A Change of Plan" Blog re: my Dad)...

Last weekend was a whirlwind....of epic proportions....a debacle, to say the least.

Friday afternoon: I dropped Joe and Kathryn at a play date for dinner. On the way, my truck blew a brake line, while driving. I limped home, without any further damage...just an "Aw Crap". Upon return, I got a call saying Joe had fallen and cut up his knee, but was OK. He wanted to stay, and Kathryn would patch him up. You know when kids really WANT to believe in something, so they take any explanation for the "impossible" and accept it? I guess that's what I was doing....

Friday eve: I picked up Joe (Kath stayed for a sleepover), and his knee was worse than I originally assumed, and it was evident that stitches were in order. We spent the evening with my friend (and chaperon) Kat in the ER getting stitches, but it was under 2 hrs start to finish, so I considered it a success. The Doc shortened Joe's "no-contact-sports" time to 12 days from 14 so that he could make it to baseball's 1st practice. Score! Joe was enormously brave and toughed it out, only quivering briefly when they injected the Novocaine. Come to think of it, maybe it was I who quivered....for all my tough-guy talk, I can *take* it much better than I can watch my kids have to take it. But we don't waiver...we just whimper and do it.

Saturday: I took the truck to my Dearest mechanic (John), and he put the truck on the lift and determined I was NOT allowed to leave with it...that I would drive it anyway (can you imagine ME doing that? OK....so he's right....) and the brake line damage was "substantial". (Ouch, that stings a little...but I trust nobody more than John, so I guess it is what it is)

Still Saturday - Moments later: Mom calls and I am still sulking pitifully in the mechanic's bay, quietly stroking my tired old truck just as I had tried to comfort Joe the night before. She's been good to me. As I answer the call, it is immediately clear that she's in panic mode...Dad has fallen, and the ambulance has already been called. In an effort to shorten this too-long-blog, you can read that story here.

STILL Saturday: Kathryn calls as I leave the hospital and she is in tears, and I'm catching about every 4th word. Sniff, sob, whimper, hamster.....sniff, cage, whimper, sob, sniff, dead....Damn.

Late Saturday: Chris' grandfather passed away. He had fallen ill with a norwalk virus / flu, and been hospitalized a week or so earlier. He had deteriorated and while we knew it was coming, it was still a chapter closing...for Chris and his family as well as for our children. It was the last of their surviving great-grandparents! When Maddie was born, she had half of them still alive to greet her. May we all live as long as Bumpa did, and do the things he enjoyed right up until that week.

Sunday morning: Chris' Mom called her aunt Terry to inform her of Bumpa's passing the night before. It turns out her daughter, Barbara (Cathy's cousin), had developed some sort of internal bleeding and a recovery was deemed to be nearly impossible. She continues to cling to life, against the odds, and is making strides toward a recovery. Our prayers remain with her.

The rest of Sunday: Mom and I spent it getting a catering job ready (having lost Saturday in the hospital) for an early Monday catering job in Winchester...one of Mom's best friend's mom.

Sunday night: Mom checks the mail at her house as I'm wrapping up to take Maddie home to crash, and in the mail from Saturday is an envelope from Saturday...she has copied every bit of (extensive) research that she's done for her son (a Jr in HS) and mailed it off to us after offering to do so at Cathy's on St Patty's Day. That's such a great summary of who she IS, to the core. Prompt, thoughtful, considerate and kind...she mailed it to several cousins who are about the same age.

Monday: Catering job, uneventful and lovely. Something should be!!

Still Monday: We got word that Drew's grandfather on his Dad's side had passed away on Sunday.

Tuesday: Wake for Bumpa. Smooth and "as planned". Wow! Something went off without a hitch!

Wednesday: Funeral. Mom called beforehand to say that Dad is in tremendous pain, deteriorating a bit and is headed into Boston to be admitted. I pick up Drew and take him to the funeral home and church. During the mass Drew is wonderful and snuggly, so long as I scratched his back, a tactic against which he has no defense...he practically snores even while awake. It's comical. During the Offering, Joe manages to inhale the host - the Body of Christ - directly into his windpipe. Uh, that can't be good...and after a quick one-handed Heimlich-like wrench to his little body we had silently resolved the crisis.... Now, how abnormal is that? OK, substantially.

Thursday: The Rodeo I'm driving (Mom's car, since Dad can't drive anymore) won't start on the way to get Kathryn and Joe to school. At this point I'm so under-the-bus that tears well, even though I really have NOTHING to cry about, and rarely get to that point. A little later, I get a call saying my truck is done! Yippee!!! But, wait....they never called to say HOW much it was going to cost....total damage? $406.27. On the up-side, Dad got sprung from the hospital tonight....more on that here.

So here I sit, one week - almost to the minute - after leaving the hospital with Joe and thinking it would just be a normal week. I guess I don't remember what "normal" is...but I'm pretty sure this'aint'it......Kathryn just called....she fell at her friends house and cut up her hands. I'm sure it's nothing.....nothing abnormal.

Here's to the weekend.....Catering job, funeral, for 200 tomorrow. And Chris leaves Sunday early afternoon to return to traveling again. Well, HEY! At least it's spring. We have stitches to take out before baseball next weekend!

The Baby and his Ball......

When did "the baby" start spinnin' up turf?????

Anyone? At least he comes by this addiction honestly...

Maddie's Cheerleading Comp 2.26.09 (Winter)

Hi Dad!! Since you're away, we wanted to put this up so you could see it.

Maddie starts out in the back right corner of the triangle....the right-most position on the clip...then you sorta lose her in the mix.

R O C K E T S
Love, Mom and Maddie ;o)

What's a Fairy Tale?????

Fairy Tales: an awesome topic!! Here's an excerpt from a message/discussion. Wanted to capture it here too. This generation, in particular, has wanted very much to create a sense of flawless-life for ourselves and our children.

These metaphors are a fact of life. Whether it is financial, geographic/weather (earthquake, hurricane), health, loss of a family member, we have ALL been there and will continue to endure these "storms"...partly because we accept them as a fact of life. Without the hard times, the breaking bough, the poisoned apple and the wicked step-mother, or the unanticipated enemy, we may fail to appreciate the moment-to-moment, and day-to-day joys.....such as having a chance to sing a lullaby to your child, or read them a fairy tale.

Consider the root of most "classic" fairy tales....the lesson being that you rise up out of the ashes and survive. Also true in some of the more recent Disney-esque tales...Little Mermaid, Lion King, etc.

Bambi - Mother dies, shot by hunter.
Lion King - Father killed by uncle, and Simba initially failed to "step up".
Cinderella - essentially abused, mother died, has no "place" in the family/step family.
Sleeping Beauty - curse placed on her AT BIRTH, and was set to die upon adulthood.
Snow White - dead mother, evil step mother tries to have her killed, she shuttles off as a young girl to live in woods....etc, etc.
Red Riding Hood- Grandmother eaten by wolf, victimized, terrorized.
Three Little Pigs - freakin' wolf again.
Beauty and the Beast - Deep plot, but is equally tragic at it's low point, revolving around the "stolen rose".
Hansel & Gretel - Children lost in forest to defend themselves, wicked witch tries to shove them into a stove.
Goldilocks & Jack and the Beanstalk - Really only warns against the dangers of greed or dishonesty/curiosity, and aside from poverty there is no "tragedy".

Even Ring Around the Rosie......BUBONIC PLAGUE. All dead children. That's twisted. And unfortunately, not "made up"....very real part of history. Google it...lots of them are the same way, but I don't hate it...I love it! Don't get me rolling on Nursery Rhymes like Jack and Jill & Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary! Well, nothing rhymes well with "beheaded". Children were not spared the lesson, only some of the details...and heck, might as well make it rhyme so they don't forget it!

Anyway, you get my drift. We've come to use the term "fairy tale" interchangeably with "perfect life, in every way"...in EVERY instance of a fairy tale, it is a tale of survival, overcoming despair and the hardest of challenges.

THIS, my friend, is the benefit. This is what I wish to instill in my children. Like you, I've always wished that my children are spared this, but given that it is an impossible feat, it is imperative seed to plant. ANYTHING can be survived. It is within your power to be resilient enough to make it a fairy tale.... Consider taking the lullaby moment and cherish it's perfection. Today, that is what you can instill. If any of you follow my moms blog about my Dad, see her more recent post about the Daily Bread. The last paragraph is exactly what I'm talking about. She's the bomb. ;o) http://muckerheide.blogspot.com

One more point...What favor do we do our children when we eliminate the extreme natures and examples of GOOD and EVIL? Didn't we, as children, have to make a fundamental choice as to who we wish to emulate? The good or evil characters? What is the consequence for asking if Little Red Riding Hood's wolf had a poor upbringing, or abusive parents. Does that take the onus off Lil'Red? Is her grandmother's death less tragic?

The moral of the story is: Own your part, and create your ending in the beginning. It's never too early. The route may be altered along the way, but the journey is yours. Do more than just expect it! Survive it....Live it.

Maddie is reading over my shoulder, and wanders by and said "I guess if there's no turmoil you are forced to go from "Once Upon A Time" to "The End" with no story at all. Who wants THAT????" I guess I've made my point with that one...didn't even have to explain it to her... God, I love that girl. I hope she has as little turmoil as possible. As I do with all my kids. And as do each of you.

The Empty Vase

Valentine's Day is a silly, commercially-driven excuse of a holiday.......

right??

Well, of course. But Damn, A little sexy goes a long way...

Teasingly warm days

The last few days have had some real unseasonably warm spring-teasers sprinkled in. Clearly, even the die-hard lovers-of-winter get excited, get outside and get in a few breaths of fresh air.


I'm eager to get outdoors, clean up the yard, wash the remaining dirty salt of the truck and return to sending the children out into the yard and get warmed up for...well, baseball, football...you name it. Just get out there!

I'm waiting for the sports schedules to come, half holding my breath because I KNOW when they do, my "free time" will dwindle and the clock will, again, become my enemy. As I've said so many times before, I can't help but get excited for the games, the sunshine, the smell of spring and the color to return the the world around me. I just can't wait, and yet this teaser-weather has brought it in a little early, and here, on Valentine's Day, I'm holding my breath for spring.


Come on, Mama'Nature....bring her home early for me this year. If March could be littered with some nice days, and April 1st can be a beautiful day as opposed to a April Fool's Joke, I promise I will thoroughly appreciate this spring and summer. I can hear it calling in the distance! Whispers in the wind....hiking, beach days, Concord, Pergatory, even High Rock! And baseball and yes, even soccer....

Winter Cheerleading - Sexual Discrimination??

Interesting Topic....

The Cheer Coaches have decided it's "discrimination" to only cheer for BOYS Varsity basketball, and have recently added the Girls Varsity to the schedule for the REMAINDER of the season as well. Maddie had cheer from 4:30-8:45 this afternoon/evening...Any thoughts on the subject? Seems absurd to change a tradition for the sake of "feel-good-consideration". I'm sure the basketball team girls were really hoping to have a cheer team affiliated, no?

Any feedback is welcome.....

CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS MaDeLyN!!!!

An interesting piece of news from Palmatier Park:

Maddie was offered a position on the Competition Team for the BayState Competition!! The Needham High School Rockets cheerleading team will compete on February 23rd, 2009 - I believe in Braintree. Maddie was not originally placed on the Comp Team, but rather Game Squad. Since there have been a few injuries to girls who can not perform, Maddie was selected to move up. GO ROCKETS!!!!

A Rockin Little Snowman.....

Kathryn built a fabulous, 2.5 foot tall snowman in the front yard this weekend. He's great for several reasons, but first and foremost is that he has a Head.

Often, my children begin things, like a snowman for example, and - shall we say - "drift" off task, and before you know it there's an incomplete snowball-on-top-of-a-snowball in the yard without a head, accessories or anything. Those wonderful SnowThings grace our yard then for weeks, announcing to the entire town that we are collectively incapable of *completing* even the simplest of tasks. Not painstaking chores, mind you. Just a Snowman.

I knew Kathryn would be the one to take'er all-the-way. I think the greatest part of making a snowman is that you go into it knowing it won't last. Expectations are half the battle to avoiding disappointment, isn't it? (Click image to enlarge)
(What good is a snowman if he isn't portable?)